


Watching

by still_lycoris



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Background Relationships, Other, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2012-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-08 21:17:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1137489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/still_lycoris/pseuds/still_lycoris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mordred cannot resist watching the people in Camelot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watching

Mordred cannot resist watching things around Camelot.

Sometimes, that is his job. He is sent on patrols, guarding the citadel. You see all sorts of things then, sometimes just little things, sometimes bigger things. But that was duty. Mordred watches for pleasure.

It’s wrong, he knows that. Wrong anyway but especially wrong for a knight. He has sworn an oath to be good, to uphold the laws. Not to creep and spy when people think they are safe. But he cannot help himself. It is a holdover from childhood, where spying and watching is the only thing that can keep you alive sometimes. The only way to learn, to understand.

He sees little things in Camelot. Happy things. He watched Gwaine and Percival laughing together, sneaking around, still sometimes unable to resist the urge to play ridiculous tricks together. He sees them late at night, Gwaine leaning up into Percival’s embrace, whispering wicked things to make Percival blush. Gwaine probably would not mind being watched. Percival would.

He sees Elyan romancing a lady, delicate and careful. Mordred knows why; Elyan worries that people will think they have to do as he says because he is a knight, because he is the queen’s brother. He is careful and his lady responds to that well. Mordred supposes they will marry, eventually.

He sees Leon. Leon is almost monk-like, showing little interest in sexual matters. He has dedicated himself to Camelot, to the art of being a knight. Mordred has never seen him with a lady or with a man. He doesn’t expect to. Leon is not that person. He is married to Camelot.

He sees his king. Mordred finds himself drawn to Arthur, finds it far harder to pull himself away. He watches Arthur whenever he can; alone or with people, it makes no difference. He likes to watch him with his queen though. He has seen them kiss when they believe themselves to be alone, seen Arthur pull her close, stroke her hair. Seen her respond in ways that make Arthur shudder and gasp. Mordred is ashamed of himself for watching but does not want to look away. What would it be like to have someone so close? He doesn’t know. Perhaps he never will.

He sees Emrys. At first, he was angry on the queens behalf when he saw Emrys kissing Arthur on the lips. They shouldn’t do that, it’s not right. Nobody deserves to be betrayed. But he realised quickly it wassn’t like that. The queen knows and approves, enjoys. The three are linked, bonded together by chains of fire and love.

One time, he watches them bathe the king together. Emrys and the queen splash each other and Arthur tries to sulk but ends up laughing instead. He kisses Guinevere and dunks Emrys in the water and Emrys laughs and soaks them both and then they are rolling together in the wet, soaked the skin, shedding their clothes and kissing and kissing and Mordred knows he shouldn’t watch but is frozen with the want of it all. 

He wants to be with them. He wants to be _theirs_.

But he is not. Perhaps he can’t be. He only gets to watch.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2012 livejournal 12dayschristmas challenge


End file.
